这几天总在想要给妹妹打个电话但是总是觉得不在最好的情绪上然后就算了。小小的太阳啊不晓得她还有没有依然在为语文考试心头不舒服（像我一样）
完全站到别人的角度去想问题真的是很难的，因为心头的那个自己是几乎不可能被不留痕迹的踢飞的。但是有时候只是简单地把自己放到别人的位置来帮助自己做一些决定我想一定是个好习惯。虽然we're not born to be agreeable,但是做一个被人喜欢的人应该还是人之常情的，要不为什么还有很多虚伪的东西存在？自我不是一顶谁都敢取下来戴到自己头上的帽子。
记得初中还是小学的时候妈妈教育我要慎独。我欣赏那些行为真正是反映了自身的道德价值的人，对这些人来说慎独并不是一个挑战。但是对那种自身道德修养都被自己看不起的人这就太需要装了。但是我有时候很想问啊，如果你都晓得咋个才是更好的做法并且你都可以通过装达到这样子的标准为啥你不提高自己的修养从内而外白里透红地把这种东西自然地表达出来呢？有得功夫去装说不定你走正道都走到了。哎，说得我自己就是个老处女的初中教务主任嘛。虽然如此我觉得时时反省自己的行为仍然是很必要的。提高自身的道德修养这种工作是永远不能停歇的。而且这也是很容易就让自己有成就感的工作，当然前提是要有这个悟性。对于那种感觉不到不道德和道德区别的人这没办法要求。

为什么世间的事情总不是付出多少然后得到相应的回报？这简直是太让人难过了。
星期五去看了revolutionary road,憋得我啊心头那个难过。看豆瓣上有好多人和我的想法相近，如果当年jack没死他俩说不定也就是这样子的结果了，可悲。两个人如果没办法同步成长的话只有越走越远，永远没办法挽回，再努力都没用。但是哪里又有恋爱指南去教我们怎么样两个人才能一起成熟？这么多的故事总是让人越来越对婚姻失去信心。另外两点顺便一提，真的人要成熟起来还是快的。男女主比起10年前真的是感觉完全不同了。以前的青涩完全没有了。还有个就是里面女主说的大概意思就是if being normal means act in certain ways, i'd rather be insane之类的话，嘿嘿。我同意真的同意。
现在的人何必还要在意那么多别人怎么想？

its like cheating to put up my hw but..well i really thought about things like world peace or so. ignore the details.

 

 

Growing up in China, I might have seeing more poverty in my life than most of the class. I have heard tons of stories about people struggling to get themselves and their families fed. So I am not one of those people that would be so astonished by the fact shown by the Opus Prize winners that there are still many people in the world having miserable lives while as Maggy said, others are enjoying their lives and maybe just worrying about where to go for dinner or what to wear for the party tomorrow. Every time I drive on the street and see people holding a board saying no food, no home, I always want to roll my window down and ask them, do you know that in my country, there are millions of people working so hard for over 12 hours everyday, and they can hardly feed themselves? Here you have so many opportunities and a healthy body but you are begging for food because you do not want to work or just want drugs!

 

You may criticize on how badly China is doing in a welfare perspective, but the reality is at the stage of capital accumulating, there are so many people being eager to move from rural area to urban and most of them are willing to take those jobs that require more physical works and fewer skills. Therefore if one does not want to work that much, there are thousands willing to take over and basically it means giving up chance of surviving in a city. I do not dare to read or hear much about the poor ones. I do not understand that why could I have such a perfect life that never need I worry about food and shelters. I did not believe in destiny but there was no way for me to explain the unfairness in front of them. The most touching thing is that some of them are so easy to satisfy. The smiles on their faces are so sincere and it was like their hearts are completely open to me, and all I have done is donate them some money that is only enough for 1/10 of my tuition per quarter here. They said that the money was enough for their family to spend for one whole year. That made me feels so guilty and hates myself. What have I done that made me worth a life like I am currently having? I wanted to give all I have to those that have nothing but themselves, but it was like a glass of water to put out a fire— nothing much to help.

 

I’ve seen those numb ones. Some are numb from poverty. They repeat what they do everyday and make little money. They gain no more pain from possessing nothing; neither do they try to get more. There are some other numb ones not from poverty but losing. My home is so close to the center of the earthquake in May this year and my mother worked in a post construction team after the earthquake. She told me that there were so many victims that felt no more pain. At the rescue site, there was a woman asking another: was your daughter found yet? The other answered, with no facial expressions of too much sorrow, yes, and we are going to bury her tomorrow; as if she was talking about a stranger. What can I do about those? Giving them all I have is not able to help at all. If God is really up there, how come he is so cruel and heartless to allow all these disasters to happen?

 

Once there was a professor said in class that you are always saying it’s not fair, but who told you it is supposed to be fair at the first place? I guess that was right. As long as we do not have perfect conditions over the world and they are the same everywhere, there is no way for real fairness to exist. It is lucky that India has Krishnammal Jagannathan; Nicaragua has Michael Woodard; Burundi to have Maggy Barankitse and the rest of the world has some other heroes, but it is still a tragedy for some other miserable ones to be left unheard and unhelped. What can I do? Every time I think about these I feel so small. I want to say sorry to them but the word sorry changes really nothing. Maybe I am one of the numb ones, too.